Finally Got Those Black Flowers…

I never got those black flowers
Mourning the death of friendship and trust
Maybe that’s why I’m unwilling to let this go
Scratching the promised itch is a must

Yet I can’t force anyone to be good to me
He only told me I was his good girl
Probably heard it in porn for the last 2 decades
No real idea of how if he meant it — it’s transform my world

+ + + +

Months after I wrote that
He came back onto my radar
Asked to come over and bring a gift
Wanted to apologize, bizarre

He had already apologized before
But a half ass, narcissistic sorry
This time he brought soap and a bin
Brought forever black roses, no muscari

He washed my feet
Saying it was like Jesus and the disciples
Wanting to show his servitude
In his God-like archetypal

You’re not Jesus, boy
You’re not even a good friend
I let you do your ritual
Knowing that was the final end

I still have those black roses
The ones preserved you bought the day I requested
Yet you hadn’t given them to me until months later
Too busy fucking other women and not getting tested

Throwing the roses in the donation pile today
Farewell to your unhinged and empty gestures
Poured out the bourbon you loved more than your kids
Smelling it always had you act with bestir

You’re not on my mind anymore
Stop giving gifts to my friends to give me
I don’t want you manipulative bids for attention
From you, I am finally free